Say what??

(Written March 18)
They say that India has the most english speaking people of any country in the world. So how come I can't understand 90% of what they say? Seriously, I had less trouble communicating in Laos than here and that includes several conversations with villagers that were based almost entirely on hand gestures. Here, if someone doesn't understand me (which happens rather more than I like) the verbal response is almost always, "Yes". I can be asking for a recommendation of the best fish, telling someone that I've been in India for less than 24 hours, or asking where the nearest tourist information centre is. It doesn't matter: the answer is "Yes". As if that weren't enough, most everyone I've talked to ("at" is more like it) accompanies their monosyllabic response with a curious side to side head wobble. This MUST have been the source of inspiration for whomever created the hugely successful bobble-head figurines because the resemblance is uncanny. Just as "Yes" serves as a catch-all reply to anything, the head wobble too seems to be appropriate for any situation. It's basically useless that way, as far as I can tell, because there's never a moment when a head wobble is out of place and thus doesn't really serve to convey any relevant information:

"Excuse me, do you know where the blah blah guesthouse is?"

"Yes" [head wobble]

"Great! Where is it?"

"Yes" [wobble wobble]

[Wait five seconds] "Which way is it? Is it that way?"

"Yes, yes." [vigourous wobble]

"That way?" (pointing)

[wobble]

"Okay, what the f*#k? Thanks anyways, bye."

[you guessed it: wobble wobble]

Now, I don't mean to be culturally insensitive. I'm just trying to work out how I'm going to find anything. On the plus side, the food is amazing. Masala dosa...heaven on tongue!